Don't worry, I still plan on making a post that will bring you up to speed about what's been going on in my life for the past several months.
But right now I need some advice on a somewhat sensitive subject. For the past, I don't know...almost 3 years, I have dated some pretty pathetic men; men that treat me HORRIBLE and make my blood boil. I don't care to explain any particulars about these failed relationships, except that none of them have been with members of the church. It is hard for me to want to date a member of the church because I feel like a good Mormon man won't want to get involved with a woman with my past. My mother assures me that the "right" man will be more forgiving than I expect and I will be blessed as long as I'm living righteously. I believe my mother and I do have the faith that I'll be blessed as long as I'm living righteously. However, how am I going to meet such a man? I'm no longer living in a state where the majority of the population is LDS. Single and available LDS men are hard to come by where I'm living. I have to travel 30 minutes to an hour to attend a singles ward. My biggest fear is that all the men in a Singles Ward will either be A) preparing to go a mission still or B) just arrived home from a mission and still younger than 25. Can you see my predicament? I'll be turning 28 in 2 weeks and I'm no longer interested in dating a boy that still has to earn his college degree. I want a man; a man that has a college degree already and already has a good paying job, a man that is ready for the responsibility for providing for a family. I'm no spring chicken anymore and I feel as though time is running out.
For the past several months I've been contemplating about trying some online dating on some LDS sites. I've been really nervous because I've always looked down upon people that met online. For some reason I think it is pathetic to date online. I've heard some success stories and I've also heard some failures. At this point I don't really know how else to meet someone. I do plan on finding a singles ward to attend when I move to Fort Worth at the end of February.
This is where your advice comes in! Should I try the online dating or not? I've looked at 3 different LDS dating sites and I start filling out a profile but right before I submit, I cancel out of fear. I guess I need some support or something. It won't hurt to at least try, right?
What do you think?
But right now I need some advice on a somewhat sensitive subject. For the past, I don't know...almost 3 years, I have dated some pretty pathetic men; men that treat me HORRIBLE and make my blood boil. I don't care to explain any particulars about these failed relationships, except that none of them have been with members of the church. It is hard for me to want to date a member of the church because I feel like a good Mormon man won't want to get involved with a woman with my past. My mother assures me that the "right" man will be more forgiving than I expect and I will be blessed as long as I'm living righteously. I believe my mother and I do have the faith that I'll be blessed as long as I'm living righteously. However, how am I going to meet such a man? I'm no longer living in a state where the majority of the population is LDS. Single and available LDS men are hard to come by where I'm living. I have to travel 30 minutes to an hour to attend a singles ward. My biggest fear is that all the men in a Singles Ward will either be A) preparing to go a mission still or B) just arrived home from a mission and still younger than 25. Can you see my predicament? I'll be turning 28 in 2 weeks and I'm no longer interested in dating a boy that still has to earn his college degree. I want a man; a man that has a college degree already and already has a good paying job, a man that is ready for the responsibility for providing for a family. I'm no spring chicken anymore and I feel as though time is running out.
For the past several months I've been contemplating about trying some online dating on some LDS sites. I've been really nervous because I've always looked down upon people that met online. For some reason I think it is pathetic to date online. I've heard some success stories and I've also heard some failures. At this point I don't really know how else to meet someone. I do plan on finding a singles ward to attend when I move to Fort Worth at the end of February.
This is where your advice comes in! Should I try the online dating or not? I've looked at 3 different LDS dating sites and I start filling out a profile but right before I submit, I cancel out of fear. I guess I need some support or something. It won't hurt to at least try, right?
What do you think?
5 comments:
I'm sorry you haven't had any good experiences with guys. That has to be rough. I totally agree with your mom though. A good guy will forgive and love you. If God can forgive our sins and forget then, so should we. I know of some of your past, and I still think your awesome! As for the online dating. I've heard of both success and failures. I'm not sure how I feel about it either. In your situation, I think I might make a profile, and then just be a little picky about which guys you are in contact with. Make sure their profiles aren't bogus or anything. If you don't like them, tell them off. It couldn't hurt to just see what is out there.
Good luck!! We care about you!
I would give it a shot!
I think it's a great idea, but as someone who has had a dating experience online (in high school), let me make a few comments. Choose someone who is within driving distance (I'd say no more than 3 hrs), if they're not close enough to you, you won't ever get to spend enough time with them in person to understand who they really are. Culture a friendship online before meeting. A benefit of online dating is it is easier to connect your personalities without having to worry about if there's something stuck in your teeth or you're stumbling over your words or whatever. Once you find someone, and you start dating in person, be sure to DTR. It sucks to find out for the last month you thought you were exclusive when they're still cultivating relationships online. Last and most absolutely importantly: the kind of man you are looking for is out there, but chances are he probably has a past too, it may include children. Don't shut them out based on that. I've known 4 amazing LDS men that went through divorces,and got remarried to women that could understand and accept their pasts, and they're all living the lives they hoped for. Striving each day to live the gospel, the Lord can do nothing but bless you and your relationships. Sorry for the novel. Good luck girl!
Thank you everyone for the wonderful advice! :)
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