Thursday, January 21, 2010

My New Moon


I can't get over how my life situation is so similar to Stephanie Meyer's book New Moon.
In case you aren't familiar with the book: The two main characters, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, fall in the love in the prequel book. Edward tells Bella not to fall in love with him since he thinks he is bad for her. I'm sure with the whole Twilight hype lately everyone knows about the whole vampire love story even if you haven't actually read the books or watched the movies. In case you are completely oblivious, Edward is the vampire and he is scared that he might accidentally lose control and kill Bella. Regardless of that fact, Bella falls for him anyway and they have this amazing love story.
Enough about the book. Let's talk about me now!
Carlos' and my breakup is very similar to Edward and Bella's breakup in New Moon. The night before I moved in with my sister, Carlos came to me a little troubled. He said that he had been praying about us and our situation. He held me very close and asked if we could have a pray together. Keep in mind that Carlos isn't a member of the church and he isn't very religious. The gist of the prayer was him asking the Lord to forgive me of anything I've done wrong. He asked the Lord to help me back onto the path of righteousness and to love me. He asked for the Lord to help me in my endeavor in becoming a better person and bettering my life situation. He also asked that the Lord send me a worthy man that will love and provide for me the way I deserve. He thanked God for the opportunity he has been given to have me in his life. He continued to ask the Lord to help him let me go. He confessed that he has been selfish in keeping me for himself. He begged for God to give him the strength to let go of the one person he loved most. He ended the prayer by asking the Lord to help him become the man that I deserve so that we can be together again someday.
I thought as far as break ups go, this was a happy one. It was very emotional and we held each other almost all night. He told me he loved me so much but he needed to work on some things before we could have a happy and healthy relationship. He told me he always wanted to have me in his life whether I was his wife, girlfriend, best friend or just a friend to contact every blue moon. We both have faith that we will see each other again some day when we are both better people. The whole time we were dating, I knew he wasn't the best person to get involved with. Our relationship was so abnormal and I wasn't happy most of the time. I had a connection with Carlos that was lacking in my marriage with Grant. I think my faith in Carlos is what kept us together as long as we were. He is a strong man and I know he is capable of turning his life around.
If you have read New Moon, hopefully you can see the similarities. I can relate to Bella's sadness and solitude. I can relate to her nightmares, for I myself wake up in the middle of the night. I can relate to that story 100%!! I'm experiencing my own version of New Moon. I don't have a Jacob Black yet, but I have faith that I will meet someone who will ease my pain. Everything worked out great for Edward and Bella in the end. Hopefully everything will work out great for me too. Maybe Carlos and I aren't meant to be together, but I hope that I finally meet the one that I am meant to be with. And I hope for nothing but happiness in Carlos' life from here on out. I love him so much and I hope we can work through this!

1 comment:

Kami said...

Well, I really didn't like the books, but I can see what you are saying.

Sorry you had to let each other go, but I think it's super sweet why you broke up. Honestly, I think Carlos is a real man for wanting to be stable and provide for you. Sounds like you've both grown and become better because of each other, and that is really cool. I hope you both find happiness!