I'm Moving

I'm moving back to Texas in the next few weeks.

My parents have been trying to get me to move back home since my divorce. I never liked living in Texas when I was growing up. I hated the humidity and the ugly flat earth. I love the mountains here in Utah and I love how my hair doesn't frizz like crazy. My main reason for staying in Utah after the divorce was because my job was here. That and I was in a relationship with a guy that I really liked and now love.

After I lost my job in October, Carlos kept telling me that he could take care of me and that I didn't need to worry about getting a new job. The boy does make good money but he doesn't know how to manage it. At the new year we both sat down and talked about our future. Carlos confessed to me that he was absolutely broke and didn't have enough money to pay his own rent, let alone all my miserable bills. We made the decision that I would move back home to Texas where my parents could help take care of me until I get job.

So far the new year has been really rough on me emotionally. Carlos plans on moving in with his best friend and living rent free for the next few months. I of course am going to Texas. My parents already had tickets to come here at the end of the month so things worked out perfectly in that department. However, today is my last day in my apartment and my last day to be with Kittie! Kittie will be going with Carlos to his friends. I'm really sad about leaving my precious Kittie. She has been the best comfort these last few months. I wouldn't have survived without her company. She loves her daddy so I know she will be okay but I still worry about him remembering to feed her and give her fresh water daily.

I've been packing all week! It hasn't been fun! I've done more crying this week than I have done in my entire life. You would think my parents died with the way I've been acting. I love Carlos so much and I'm hating this whole separation thing. We still plan on being together but our relationship in definitely being put on hold for a bit. I don't know exactly what his plans are with this separation. I know he wants to save and manage his money better so he can take care of me. Not having to pay rent and utilities will really help him.

I'm going to find a job the moment I get settled in back home. Then my goal is to enroll in the community college close to home and hopefully start taking classes in the summer. Neither Carlos nor I knows how long this separation will last. We don't even know if this separation will work. I really don't want to lose Carlos but maybe this is all for the best. We both need this time to better ourselves and our situations. The best place for me right now is school! There isn't a better time for it. Since I'm no longer married and I have no children I should be doing something wise with my time. In a lot of ways I'm really excited about the move but I'm really going to miss my baby and mostly my boyfriend!

I couldn't be more sad than I am this very moment!