Dear Journal

I was noticing how pathetic it was that I only had 4 (5 including this one) posts for the month of April. I've been MIA for most of the month and this is why...

My mom introduced me to the diary/journal writing world when I was a young girl. I would have to say that I was elementary age and just learning how to write. My mom would set up different stations for us kids to visit after church on Sunday's in order for us to keep the sabbath day holy as a family. Some of the stations consisted of listening to tapes that told stories of honesty, watching film strips made by the church, coloring and writing in our journals. I became addicted to writing in my diary and would write everyday. Most of the things I wrote about were boys that I was crushing on at the time. As I got older I started writing about experiences I was having. Life started to get stressful and busy and my journal writing became less and less. I still tried to write in my journal at least once a month. It wasn't until after I got married that I stopped writing in my journal completely. I found that I only wrote in my journal when I felt I had no one to talk to.

At the beginning of March I was having a troubling day and I didn't have anyone to turn to. A crisis in my personal life was really getting to me and I had to let off some steam and let my emotions flow somewhere. I decided that the best solution at the time would be to write it all down and hence.....I started another journal. I've become addicted again and I don't won't to get out of this habit again. I'd forgotten how therapeutic it is to write in a journal. Carlos would always get mad at me when I would write about our relationship in my blog. My response to him would always be that my blog was like a journal and I needed a place to share my thoughts. He didn't like that idea and would get on my case regularly. Now I'm beginning to see where he was coming from. Some things are just too personal to be sharing to the world. So why I've been away from the blogging world I've been writing in my journal.

I Want

Earlier today I was thinking of some of the things that I wanted to either learn or wanted to do and I thought it would be fun to make a list of them and share. I hope I can remember most of them cause I thought of quite a few.

• I want to learn how to ride a horse
• I want to learn how to shoot a gun
• I want to learn how to box (just some cool moves)
• I want to learn how to drive a stick shift
• I want to learn the Argentine Tango, Rumba and Viennese Waltz
• I want to learn the dance Beyonce does in her music video All the Single Ladies
• I want to go on a hot air balloon ride
• I want to go on a hike through some beautiful canyons
• I want to learn how to rock climb

The list seemed so much longer earlier but this is all I can remember. Just wanted to share that and hopefully I can accomplish some of these things.

He Did

Today I asked John Doe if he missed me during our silence.

He wrote me back and told me that he did miss me!!

Ahhh...blush blush!

*Just wanted to share*

*And we had a NICE conversation today that I won't share*

I Think He Missed Me

John Doe and I don't seem to talk much anymore. We basically ran out of things to say to each other and since we don't have the privilege of hanging out it complicates our situation. We went from talking all day every day to talking every couple of days to talking once every couple of weeks. I was beginning to think that he had changed his mind about me and didn't want to get involved anymore. On the 10th of this month I finally confronted him about it when I couldn't take the silence any longer. He told me that the silence meant nothing and that he still thought about me and planned on coming to visit. I guess men just think differently than we sensitive women do. I need that constant reassurance and when I wasn't hearing from him I thought he had changed his mind. I was relieved to know that he still felt the same way. I've tried to give him space cause I don't want to be an annoying female. I had hoped that he would come to me when he was ready to talk. Almost a week and half has gone by since we last spoke and I was planning on contacting him tomorrow. To my surprise he contacted me today while I was at work. I can't believe he actually contacted me and my heart sure went pitter pat. He commented that I disappeared on him. I think someone was starting to miss me!!! What do you think?

All Registered

It's been really hard for me to get errands done since I started working these two jobs. If I'm not working at one job I'm working at the other. The past two weeks have been pretty rough and I've been working close to 50 hour weeks. Last week was the first week that my hours dropped from both jobs and I was able to finally get some things accomplished. I was able to get my vehicle registered in Texas and get my Texas drivers license!! Yeah! It was such a relief to get those two things off my chest. Today I made the dreaded trip to Lone Star College to register for classes. I waited forever but I'm all registered for summer and fall classes. I decided to take the first two semesters easy since I haven't been in school for 8 years. Luckily my classes from 8 years ago are still on file and I don't have to redo any of them.

I'm doing the two year Interior Design program and I should be done around January 2012! Most of the classes for my degree are design based and I don't have to take many classes outside my field. Phew...no science or history classes required for me.

My first class starts in June and it's a drawing class. I'm not super excited for this class since I can't draw worth crap but it's required for my degree.

My second class starts in July and it's a Public Speaking class. Again, not super excited about taking a speech class but it's also required.

For the fall semester I'm taking College Algebra and Fundamentals of Interior Design. Not much but it should be a good start. I wanted to kinda ease myself back into school. I'll try and take more credits in the spring next year.

In case you can't tell....I'm super excited to be going back to school and to be starting in a couple of months.

*I'm also excited that I'm making the necessary steps to improve myself*