My List of Things That Must Go

My favorite radio morning show is the Radio from Hell Show on x96 with Kerry, Bill and Gina. Every once in a while they make a list of things that must go. Things that people do that they can't stand. Some of the things that bother them are pretty funny. I decided that I would make a list of things that must go. I work retail and there are several things that customers do that makes me want to strangle them. Some people are so stupid and annoying! Here is my RETAIL list of things that must go. (In no particular order)

• I hate it when people call the store and ask us to do their shopping. For example: Someone calling and asking, "Do you have a white pencil skirt that is about 1-inch below the knee. No longer and no shorter than 1-inch. I would like for it to have pockets on the side and a black pin stripe. Do you have anything like that in your store?" Come into the store and do your own shopping!!
• Customers wanting a discount for little things or even imaginary defects in their mind. For Example: I had this customer last winter that wanted a discount because a little string was hanging off the button on the coat they wanted to purchase. (Just cut the dang string) When I told them I could not discount for that they told me there was a defect somewhere else on the coat. They couldn't even find the defect they were telling me about. They finally ran their finger nail across the material and told me that you could see a line in the coat. In the end, I refused to discount this perfectly normal coat. I had another customer ask for a discount because the polka dots on the shirt she wanted were different sizes!! Are you kidding me? No!!!
• Customers coming in and asking if we have something they bought 3 years ago. Uh..... hello...we don't even have the same stuff we had 3 months ago. What makes these people think we would have the same merchandise that we carried 1+ years ago? Then they get mad that we don't have it anymore. What the freak?
  
• Most stores have a 7-30 day return policy!! I would say that Macy's is pretty generous to have a 180 day return policy. It should really not take someone 6 months to figure out whether they like something or not. What I can't stand is when people want to return something they bought years ago. For those of you who don't know, Macy's was first a Meier & Frank and before that it was the beloved ZCMI. We had a customer come in the other day wanting to return some items they bought at our store when it was ZCMI. That was like 7 years ago. You can't return 7 year old merchandise. Even if it has the tags still....it was a different company! Geez!
• Women customers are the worst. All women have to try on everything possible in every size. I have gone into fitting rooms after one customer and found the same item from sizes 6-12! Why would anyone need to try on 4 different sizes? Either you are a small or a medium. A size 12 is bordering a large. I personally am between sizes but I only try on sizes 0 or 1. You won't see me trying on a size 3 or 4 so why do other women have to try on that many sizes?
• Going along with my last complaint, women will throw clothes on the floor that don't fit them right. Expensive suits and prom dresses are just thrown aside and left for the sales associate to clean off of the floor. Why can't women just have the decency to hang it back onto the hanger? It takes maybe and extra 5 seconds to do so!
• Customers that don't listen to the sales associates really get under my skin. Here is an example of a conversation that I have had with many a customer:

Customer: "This was on a rack by itself. Do you have anymore like it somewhere else?"
Me: " Sorry no. That is the last one we have."
Customer: "So you don't have anymore like it somewhere else? Would it be on another floor?"
What I would like to say in response: " What part of it's the last one do you not understand?
Why would we separate the same item on different floors? Use your brain!"

• I hate it when people try to return stinky or soiled merchandise. Don't they feel embarrassed that it either smells like cigarette smoke or that it is drenched in baby bottle milk. When I worked at Dillard's, I had a girl return a towel that had a huge toothpaste clop smudged into it. You know these people know that they are returning spoiled merchandise and that we shouldn't take it back but they also know that we won't ask questions and cause any problems.
• Macy's has great sales. Our clearance goes down to $4.99 on our One Day Sale. The clearance racks get a little out of hand and a little picked over but everything is still cheap even if it isn't 5 bucks. People will come up to the register with handfuls of $4.99 items to purchase. In that huge pile the customer will have picked up a $9.99 item hoping that it will be given to them for $4.99 but when we don't give it to them for the price they want, they don't seem to like it anymore. $9.99 is still a really good price for Macy's merchandise. Utah County women are so cheap sometimes.
• Swim suit season can be gross. Most of you have had to try on a swim suit in your life time. You may have noticed a protective liner on the inside of the swim suit bottoms? Well this liner is for your protection. I hate going into fitting rooms and finding the liner stuck to the fitting room wall. Sick people. Just keep it in the suit and please leave your panties on while trying it on!
• My last complaint is women changing their babies diaper in the fitting room and leaving the diaper in there. That is just disgusting. Use the bathroom or locate a trash can. We have cans at all registers. We don't exactly want a stinky diaper lingering in our trash but I would prefer not to find little gifts left behind for us.