Surprise, Surprise

The past couple of days have been really hard since Alex broke it off with me. I cried most of the day on Thursday. Little things would trigger the tears like when I walked past a bench in the campus courtyard that I used to sit on when I would call him when I got out of class. I was doing better on Friday because work was SOOOOO busy and I didn't have time to think about it. After work I was so busy working on my final interior design project that, again, I didn't have time to think about him. However, Friday morning I told one of my co-workers at Palais about the break up and she told me something like this, "Kristin, I don't want to sound mean, but it sounds like he found someone else!" I hadn't even thought of that as being a reason. All he told me was that he wasn't ready to get into another serious relationship so soon after his divorce. There was always the possibility that he met someone else and didn't want me to know. When I asked him if he would be interested in dating me when he was ready he responded with something like this, "I don't know if I would. You may not be what I want and right now I don't know what I want."

Maybe that was his nice way of saying, "Hey...I found someone else who is more my type and things are done between us."

Soooo Friday night my mind played tricks on me and I had nightmares of how Alex was posting all over facebook all the woman he was dating now that he had broken up with me. I woke up yesterday morning VERY sad. My whole day was pretty much ruined because of that stupid dream and I was a complete zombie at both my jobs. Last night while working at Gymboree, I told my co-worker about the break up and how I just keep hoping he'll contact me and tell me how much he misses me. I knew that would never happen since he deleted me from facebook and most likely deleted me as a contact altogether. :/

I cried myself to sleep as usual and at 4:11 am, exactly, my phone dinged with a text message. I was half asleep when I rolled over and picked up my phone and saw a text from....

ALEX!!!

"U there?"

He told me he couldn't sleep and that he was trying to sort things out in his mind. He then asked if we could talk sometime. I ended up calling him right away so we could talk and figure things out immediately. To make a long story short.....the main reason he broke it off is because he is scared of getting attached to someone and getting screwed in the end (his ex-wife cheated on him several times). He told me that he really, really, REALLY liked me A LOT and that he missed me. He also told me that he wanted to date me but he was too scared. In the end, he asked if we could start where we left off but just go a little slower this time.

I hope everything works out and I hope he doesn't break my heart again...especially anytime soon!